5 Ways to Recognize & Become Aware of Limiting Beliefs- Mom Edition

Vallen Webb (: 00:01

Hey friend, welcome back to another episode of the Mindset Shifts for Moms podcast. So I hope you're here today. This is going on week two of like trying to get over the flu. So again, you'll have to excuse my voice. It will change throughout this episode. But I really love the podcast episode I did last week, which...

which talked about five ways to reframe a really bad feeling day. And I got some great feedback from it. So I wanted to do another one. And like I said, I think I may do a short episode like this every week along with our typical episode on Fridays. But today we are going to talk about five ways to recognize and become aware of limiting beliefs.

If you're listening on the podcast, yay you won't see me reading from my outline, my notes. But I do record video as well, and they are up on our YouTube channel, which is Mindset Shifts for Moms. So you can always watch it there if you want to see my face and get to know me and see how awesome I am and not put together that I truly am. No, for real, I'm just getting over being sick, so I get some grace here. But okay.

So I just thought this one was really important, especially when we talk about wanting to grow, wanting to make changes. The very beginning of this entire process is awareness.

Awareness is really just the process of.

I don't even know how to say it.

Awareness is really the process of thinking about the thoughts that we're having. I could just say that it's the process of becoming aware of your thoughts, and it just means drawing attention to, paying attention to those thoughts that you have. it's, again, you guys, like most things that I will teach you on here, it's a skill. You're not gonna be good at it right away. I've been doing this for a long time.

like in terms of human life, mean, it feels like a long time, but it takes time and practice. And if you're not practicing it, you're not gonna get better at it. Anyways, okay, so let's jump into number one. So noticing your automatic thoughts. I'm gonna have to find the statistic, but most of us have the same recurring thoughts every single day.

How scary is that?

That's how easy it is not to change. Our brains are on automatic pilot. And that's why it's so hard, you guys. It's not you, it's that cool computer brain of yours. So pay attention to the thoughts that pop up when you face a challenge. So do you hear things like, I'm not good enough, I'm never gonna get this right, I could never do that, like.

what challenges, what situations, what experiences, what people, what places.

Create those feedback thoughts, those repetitive negative thoughts that are rooted in limited beliefs.

you start to pay attention to what happens right before you have those thoughts. And normally there are things that maybe we haven't done before, things that we don't think were the type of people that could do that. We don't think we're worthy of it. We feel like it's selfish to do that.

There are things that we experience every single day that trigger us in some way. And they might not be these enormous triggers where you get these huge emotional surges, right? They could just be these repetitive thoughts. And they're not the truth.

I don't know how to do that yet. We have to start bringing awareness, really figuring out what is causing you to replay these negative thought patterns. Number two, so you're gonna, one, notice your automatic thoughts. What's going on? What experiences am I facing that create these thoughts for me? Number two, you're gonna look at the patterns in your life. So do you keep experiencing the same struggles?

So anything like relationships, money, self-worth issues, self-esteem issues, confidence issues, relationship with friends, family, spouse, partner, kids, parenting.

What issue keeps coming up? What do you keep encountering? What do you keep going through? Because that typically means that a subconscious belief is running the show. So what issues are coming up for you every day? For me, it used to be money, a lack of. Even if we had money, I would always feel like it wasn't enough, even though we had, you know, everything was paid and everything.

was up to date and we still had money for food and doing fun things and that was my subconscious negative beliefs and wiring and I will not lie to you like even if you work through you process you reframe these things are going to continue to come up in different ways throughout your life so if you you know you start making bigger amounts of money you're going to go through a

You may or may not, some people don't. But another process where it's like, my God, that's so much. What if I lose it? You start having these different negative thoughts about money. That is what is so fucking cool about life, you guys. It is a constant, constant learning process. We're always growing and always changing. And I know for some people that feels very overwhelming and scary and frustrating because sometimes

Some people are okay and content where they are, and that is okay. That is where they wanna be. But I know there's so many of us that, nope, I'm ready for the next fucking level. Let's go, let's do this. So one, notice your automatic pattern or your automatic thoughts. Two, look at patterns in your life. Number three,

is listen to your excuses.

Anytime you say things like, can't, or that's just how I am, that's just who I am, that's not possible for me, I wasn't born in a rich family, or I don't have the opportunities that those people have, those are excuses. So just stop and ask, is this actually true? Or is this just something I've always believed?

because those things don't make it true. Most of the time our excuses are just that, they're excuses. We use them as, it's kind of like our, we'll talk later about like thermostats and you know, where our brains are kind of set at and getting beyond it is hard and you typically wanna come back down. So.

What are you saying to yourself? I can't do that. I'm not pretty enough. I'll never find somebody, you know, is great. I'll never, I'll never be that type of person. I'll never make that much money. I'll never have really great friendships. I'll never be a great mom. I can't, I can't do this. It's so hard. It's that fucking victim mentality that is just so frustrating and annoying and just shows up for us, right?

So listen to your excuses. And I am not talking about listening to them and then judging yourself when you realize, wow, that is my excuse. I suck. Like I don't want you guys going through that. That's not the point. Excuse me. Four is to pay attention to what triggers you.

So if seeing somebody else succeed makes you feel jealous or not good enough, that's typically a sign of a hidden belief about your own worth or capabilities or, and also that maybe that's what, who you want to be like, where you want to be in life. Maybe they have what you want. I want you guys to know that things like anger and jealousy and envy,

don't have to be labeled as bad.

I want you to look at them as in you are trying to tell yourself something. You're trying to remind yourself of these values that you have or these dreams that you have that you keep stuffing down. Let's look at them as information instead of bad things. They're not bad things. We just have to learn how to read between the lines and see what it's trying to tell us.

Instead of shutting down, you know, when you get triggered, ask yourself, what does this reaction tell me about what I believe is possible for myself? So I see somebody I grew up with, like doing amazing, like maybe they're a millionaire, like I'm just giving examples, guys, you know, maybe they're a millionaire, they're an author, they're an, I don't know, an actress or something, and I just see her and she's just...

so different and so happy with who she is, so authentic, so in her fucking power. And I'm just like, wow, I'm so jealous. And normally I'm like, and what happens though when we normally feel, what happens when we feel jealousy or envy? We think of negative things to say about those people as a way to justify where we're at.

I know I'm not the only one who's done that multiple millions of times throughout her life. It's like our human human damage-ness. You know, instead of being like, bitch, of course she has all this. Of course, you know, she had all this. She had family that helped her, you know. Putting myself in the victim mentality, justifying how I am instead of taking responsibility for the fact that I can

I am responsible for my life and I could get there too if I really wanted, if that's something I really want. So I use jealousy or envy. I'm like, wow, that's amazing. my God, I just love her. I love her energy. I love what she's doing. Like that is the type of woman I wanna be. That is who I wanna be. Like she is incredible. I have learned there's so much that I grew up thinking because of adults in my life.

culturally, like on TV and radio and ads and all this stuff growing up. Always being pitted against other women, like any like the same sex, right? It's like

Why can't we be like, yes, bitch, love you, wanna be just like you and help each other? Like, it's crazy. Anyways, that's not what this episode's about. Okay, so one.

One, notice your automatic thoughts. Two, look at the patterns in your life. Three, listen to the excuses that you use. Four, pay attention to what triggers you. And number five, you need to start asking yourself, where did this belief come from? Where did this thought come from? Where did I'll always be poor come from? Like, where did that thought come from? Or I'll always be fat.

Like where did that come from? And I bring that up because for me, I was always told like I was big boned as a kid. Big boned this, you you have good genes, baby making hips, like all this weird shit that why the hell are we telling kids this? But it fucked me up for the longest time. Nope, I can lose weight actually. And now I realize that and I can.

There's so many ways that we self-sabotage because of the beliefs that we have in our head that are not even ours in the first place you guys and If this sounds really confusing for you, if you guys need some like clarification, don't worry literally, I have so many episodes for this but I just wanted to Bring this this episode to you as a way to start thinking about awareness because awareness is that first step in breaking free

from the thoughts and the patterns and the terrible negative beliefs that we've had and that we will continue to have.

until we get rid of them, until we rewrite them, until we reframe them. And I want to tell you that this step is probably one of the most powerful. going through your day, because our thoughts are automatic, right? So we're just going through a day doing dishes and a thought pops up like, I hate my life or of course, you know, my husband didn't do dishes again. And then it starts this

long domino effect of all these negative thoughts and feelings. The awareness is being like, wait, is this actually true? Nope, he normally does the dishes. I'm just upset, you know, because I have to do them today, but he's sick and we're a team. This is what we do for each other. Like, we have to take that responsibility of what's going on in our brain. Like we can't blame anybody else for what's going on in our brain.

Yes, there are genetics. There are experiences that we've been through. There are terrible things that we have fucking experienced and trauma and everything else that really messes up our lens through which we see things. That's what makes us all different and beautiful and wonderful and...

creates an incredible world. But we have to learn how to harness that and decide if we're going to be the people who think good thoughts or we're going to be the people who think bad thoughts. And one more thing I want to leave you with is that negative and all these things that we don't want to think anymore aren't inherently bad.

Right? I never want you to think like I want you to just be sunshine and rainbows all the time. I don't want you to have bad feelings. There are going to be days. There are going to be bad feeling days where we just can't get out of our own funk. Guys, we're human. Of course we're going to feel that way. When I'm sick, I feel that way a lot and it takes a lot out of me and I sleep more than anything because honestly, because it shuts my brain down and I'm not sitting in that.

that space of feeling like my life is over just because I'm sick. So I love you guys. I hope this was helpful. I know I went on a few little tangents. But make sure to join our Facebook group, Empower Millennial Moms. Okay, so we can continue these conversations. Make sure you get on the show notes and join our newsletter because there's a lot of cool things coming. And...

Please rate and review the podcast if you love it. It means a lot to me. I will respond to all the comments, all the reviews. I don't think you can't leave a review on Spotify, but you can write out a review on Apple. So that would be wonderful, but definitely leave a five star rating on Spotify or whatever you're listening on and make sure you subscribe to the podcast so that you can get my new episodes that come out.

It's really important for me to grow this. want to, guys, I want to change the world with this. I want to help moms in such a big way. And you are a big part of that. So I love you guys. I hope you're well. I hope your Monday is fabulous. I hope this week goes just insanely great for you. We'll see you on next Friday.