5 Ways to Reframe a Really Bad Feeling Day- A moms guide

Vallen Webb (: 00:01

Hey love, welcome to another episode of the Mindset Shifts for Moms podcast. Guys, I am just getting over the flu, you'll have to excuse my deeper voice here. Today we're just gonna do a quick episode, one because I'm having a hard time talking a lot, but also because I thought maybe along with our typical episode every week, we could do a quick actionable one where...

like today's, it's five ways to reframe a really bad feeling day. So if you're having like a terrible feeling day, your mindset is stuck in the fucking gutter and you can't seem to shift out of that energy, out of the, you know, that low frequency vibrations. You can't seem to just get out of it. I just wanted to give you five.

five ways that can help you shift it. To me, being able to reframe is a skill. So it's something you have to learn to do by every time you have a bad feeling day, you try doing something to get out of it. That's how you eventually are more easily able to switch into a different frame, a different mindset, a different energy setting for that day.

so let's jump in. So number one, so if you're like, God, today is a disaster. How about we refrain that today was hard, but I handled it and that matters. So instead of taking the whole day and just throwing it in the trash, make yourself see it as yes, it may have been a disaster.

or today was a disaster, but I handled it. And that's what matters. Acknowledge the hard part. Acknowledge that it was a disaster. That way you're validating yourself and you're not sitting there telling yourself, you it's you. Bad days don't define you. That's something that took me a very long time to understand.

I thought bad days were, you know, like remarks that counted against me for being a bad mom or a bad person or whatever. But they're just moments in the bigger picture, you know, in the big picture of our lives. Remembering you did your best with what you had today and that's enough.

Number two, maybe the baby was sick, so you feel, got nothing done today. Especially if you're somebody who likes to keep your house up, or if you had something to do, or if you're a working mom. It's really frustrating when our days don't go according to plan or routine. So instead of being like, God, I got nothing done.

is dumb. sucks. You can try, you know what?

I may not have gotten everything done that I wanted, but I met my family's needs, and that's real work too. And that totally matters. Remembering too that productivity does not define your worth. And it isn't just about checking things off list. Some days just showing up is an accomplishment.

And so again, not invalidating the Hard. We have to validate the Hard Yes, I didn't get the things that I really wanted to done today, but I did get things done. I did feed my family. I did take care of my family. I did get laundry done. I did get this errand done. I paid this bill, whatever it is. Okay, number three, maybe you just...

we're really overwhelmed today or something isn't going your way or there's financial issues or something and you were really impatient with your kids or taking out your frustrations on them projecting. So if you feel like, I was so impatient today, I was so mean, I was just so unkind, you can say, I was overwhelmed.

and I'm learning to give myself grace.

And I think a part of this is when you feel that way is to also apologize to your kiddo.

It matters so much. You may not think so, especially if they're younger, but they understand. They feel that. And it shows them that we're human. We're not without fault. And we connect with them. We got to remember that we are human. And messing up doesn't mean that we're failing. It means we're real. And acknowledging that

self-awareness, you're bringing awareness to the fact that you were impatient today is huge and now you're trying to reframe that by figuring out what how by how by reframing it in a way that shows a different truth if that makes sense. Number four

So again, this is kind of like I got nothing but done, but I didn't do enough. Like you had this laundry list of things to do, and you maybe one or two.

You can reframe this by being asking yourself what actually needed to get done today. Like, did all those things have to get done today? Is it that urgent or immediate?

and then asking yourself, can wait? What isn't emergent? What doesn't need my attention today? Especially when there are other things going on. Sometimes, a lot of times, I think, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, even when it isn't necessary. So we make to-do lists. It's how we stay on track. Some of us, we love lists.

But say we write down a list of 20 things, including like a spring cleaning list. Our brain thinks that we need to actually finish that list.

when in reality that's like the farthest thing that we actually need to do. So prioritize.

Being able to prioritize peace over seeking perfection and you know, perfect done list is the real win.

Number five, if you had a really bad mom day, you think they were just a shitty ass mom, you can reframe that by saying, love my kids so much. And that's what they'll remember. You can also refer to that by, I love my kids so much. And I also made sure to apologize and explain to them that how I acted and how I felt today had.

was no reflection of them. Mommy is going through some stuff and...

I didn't know how to emotionally handle that today. You mommy's still learning how to handle her emotions. You're teaching them that it is a skill. And emotional regulation is a skill. And those of us who never got to really learn that because we were told to stuff it down.

It's really hard being a mom that way. Seriously, because not only are we unfairly judging ourselves every day because we're not getting it right or perfect.

You know, have, we have, we're not only parenting our children, we're parenting ourselves.

while we're parenting, it's guys, it's so fucking hard. Like, I don't know. I don't know. Like who made claims that, you know, motherhood was easy breezy, beautiful cover girl. No, like it's not how it works. So I just wanted to really give you this. So just save it for the next time you need to remind her you're doing, you're always doing better than you think. And

Literally the biggest piece of advice I can give you if you want any is when you're having a really bad mom day and you're taking it out on your kids, which we've all done.

Sit down, get on their level. You don't want to like stand tower over them looking down on them while you're talking to them. Get eye level. Listen, I'm so sorry I yelled at you today. It was not your fault, mom. You know what I would say to my kids is like, I'm still learning how to handle my emotions. And it's really hard for me. So I understand how hard it is for you too.

It can be just a really another connection point that you have with your kids.

I know, I just, found it very helpful in communicating, especially when I'm being a bad shitty mom that day. Okay, so, I love you guys. Make sure to join our Empowered Millennium Mom Facebook group. The link is in the show notes. Otherwise, just use the search bar and put Empowered Millennium Moms. We're always talking about these conversations and...

just really getting into it deeper, but also being able to connect with like-minded women who really want to be better and do better. And guys, if there's one thing that definitely helps when you're on a journey of bettering yourself and growing, it's being around people who are doing the same thing. Make sure to join our newsletter. The link is in the show description.

Yeah, these things allow us to connect more. I love sending emails and like asking for replies, seeing how you guys are doing, seeing if there's anything you guys want to learn about as it relates to personal development, motherhood, parenting, anything. So I love you guys and I'll see you next week.